Are we crazy…?

Realizations from a crazy week –

  • Unexpected things will continue to arise and we can’t control it all!
  • At this time, this process isn’t worth continually putting on hold.


We are on: First try in around the next month. Pending I ovulate in January!

We had a crazy week that included a wonderfully long awaited graduation, a birthday party for my Grandpa and an early Christmas celebration with one side of our family.

J and I had lunch together the day following my graduation and she surprised me with… “I want to have a baby with you and I think we should still try in January”

I realize this is crazy but it also feels right. Financially, even with the layoff were doing quite well. We both know J will find the perfect fit, as she had three interviews in her first week of being unemployed. Health insurance starts for me in the next few weeks and as for the rest… We will figure it out.

The week was filled with excitement and bitter sweetness. My grandparents live near Canada and they traveled the eight hours down for my Graduation. Both are retired teachers and it was so meaningful to have them at the celebration!

My grandpa is a man of few emotional words but I was touched this week by his emotional candor. I should explain that these are grandparents by choice not blood. For many reasons I had a blessed upbringing but the most unique and essential reason is that I was raised in part by a close family friend, who chose to be my father.

I was abandoned by my mother at only a few months of age and this young man decided to raise me with my biological grandmother. This decision has blessed me in many ways, one of which was bringing these wonderful grandparents into my life. Even though we are not tied by blood or legal documents my relationship with them has always been tremendously important.

However, it wasn’t until this week as I watched my grandpa’s eyes tear up with pride that I realized just how important the relationship is to them also. For the first time, we exchanged deep felt I love you’s and honest gratitude for each others organic connection. It was then later, at our Christmas celebration with them that my Grandma expressed excitement for our journey towards parenthood. Her words of excitement overwhelmed me with feelings of gratitude and connectedness.

My grandpa has some serious health constraints and yet they traveled to share in this important milestone. A milestone that was largely pursued and eventually finished because of their sons instilled commitment to education and learning. This accomplishment was pursued while working fulltime, defining my life and developing my relationship with J and I am forever grateful for their love and support.

So here we are… Emotionally ready to begin.