I feel like a broken record…

For those readers who follow along but also know me in “the real world”, I am sure you can guess that I called the clinic yesterday. Thinking they would respond with, “Tuesday isn’t Wednesday, call back tomorrow,” I thought it would be harmless. This was however not the case. I tried to wait 24 hours to cool off before posting but unfortunately the allotted time was disrupted by another return call from my clinic this morning. Albeit a more respectful and informed call, it has done nothing to calm my nerves.

 

I debated detailing yesterday’s events on here because I think a great deal of my post may come across as annoying/whinny and hormone induced. I am still not sure where I’m at with it all but I am sadly not ready to move on from this clinic. I can’t explain it necessarily; I guess I now feel they owe it to me… Fix this crap of a relationship and make it work…

 

To begin, yesterday’s results came back in the normal range. TSH: 1.89, T4: 1.1, FSH: 2.8 and Prolactin: 8.0. So the NP said these results show that I would be eligible to begin a clomid cycle but she would first need to check with my doctor, who is on vacation for a week. After our first conversation, I felt like I was articulating what I wanted them to do and how I wanted to be treated moving forward.

 

However there must have been a communication gap because the NP who was initially very helpful and who I thought would finally be the connection I needed to get some progress, quickly became a disaster. In retrospect, I feel horrible for unloading the brunt of my frustrations on her but I guess the clinic had it coming.

 

Ultimately the NP returned my call with the solution of wanting to schedule a pregnancy test… I was shocked… and wondered if she had even looked at my file… Or was she just stuck on the fact that I was on CD40 and I guess thought she would jump to the obvious solution, while waiting to hear back from my doctor.

 

I was furious… I quickly shut my office door and unloaded all my frustrations that had built over the past new months. I explained that I am not on CD40 because I’m pregnant and if she had taken the time to read my chart she would have noticed that I’m in a lesbian relationship! This is a sensitive issue because the first consultation we had at this clinic we had a similar mix-up… Because of this I made sure the clinic manager noted all over my chart of our relationship status!

 

But this NP must have skimmed and missed it… She seemed mortified and overwhelmed by my unapologetic word rampage but eventually she said she would get back to me when she heard from my doctor…

 

She called back while I was driving home from work… And again, I didn’t get the answers I wanted. It seems the clinic’s main concern was my being on CD40, so their focus was to determine what was going on there… I seem to think it’s more of an issue that I ovulated on CD30 but anyway… Eventually they decided to prescribe Prometrium to induce CD1.

 

Their solution again moving forward was… “You are young” the doctor would like you to continue to track for another few months”. I don’t think the NP realized how much of a wrong answer that was: and really didn’t know what was coming. Honestly I later felt bad for my unprofessionalism but I was at a breaking point.

 

Now this phone call was had while driving, on my way home from work, so I was even louder and totally uninhibited… I attribute the apology phone call I received this morning from a different NP as a response that my message was heard loud and clear.

 

The end result… Nothing to write home about:

  • I have 3 days to wait for CD1, if it doesn’t come on its own we will induce with Prometrium.
  • If I don’t ovulate this cycle, which would be in around the next 10-14 days, depending on when CD1 comes… We will get more aggressive.
  • If I do see LH surge and its confirmed with both my expensive monitor and an OPK, I can have 2 vials sent and schedule the IUI’s.

 

I honestly don’t feel better; I am frustrated, confused and overwhelmed. If I am ovulating normally the majority of the time, the last 2 cycles have successfully shaken me up enough to cause me to doubt my body. I guess with my change from what had been consistent cycles, to this mess, has made it so I have no idea when to place an order. I don’t know what/when to expect anything… I guess I am really worried we will spend 600 some dollars to only experience bad timing.

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