This day last month
This day last month I was alarmed and later devastated by my morning temp falling from 98.7 to 97.8. This day last month my morning pregnancy test no longer read “pregnant” and I began to mourn something I had already placed so much love and future excitement into.
So now – a month has passed and we are still waiting to begin again. CD-1 hasn’t come and with each passing day I wonder if my cycle will ever rebalance after such trauma. I must thank a certain lovely blogger, who so wonderfully helped me process some of my post M/C fears and confusion. She generously offered her experiences and warmly offered her guidance, at a time when I needed it most. Again I’m blown away by this wonderful community!
So we wait – something this process has taught me to expect but this waiting isn’t as satisfying… It’s stagnant and I’m ready to move. As I watch more of you transition into the pregnant blogroll, I hate that my excitement continues to be laced will my own lack of purpose… So, to all the newly pregnant ladies, my excitement is overflowing for you, if my comments haven’t reached you, it’s only because I lack the words.
I want to move on but instead I continue to be held back by my own body… Something I can’t control and simultaneously can’t understand. I’m hoping the luck going around will soon rest on us and we will be pulled back into the TTC world. As I deeply miss moving towards the dream of a child that will join us.