Feeling stuck and scared
This morning I woke feeling deflated and emotionally devastated… For no apparent reason seeing as I was too tired to remember to test when I got up to insert my progesterone. It’s 11DPO and cramping has started along with a significant temp drop. I know it’s still too early to know anything and I also know that temping when on all these drugs isn’t reliable… But I’m sad and I had my first TWW breakdown at 5 in the morning and I don’t know what to do about it. I couldn’t stop the tears or the repeated questions of, “what now”? Finally I think I worked myself into exhaustion and fell back asleep.
But really my question is valid… What now? It’s been 9 months of trying not including the 6 months that trying was on hold but still occupying every ounce of my emotions… Two miscarriages and months later has left me hating my RE’s office – so much I don’t want to return… I’ve depleted most of my insurance and will be paying out-of-pocket for everything soon. Something we can’t honestly afford. I’m feeling stuck and scared… Scared that this won’t happen for us… Stuck that I can’t stop… It seems pointless to do another injectable cycle – when it will cost a couple thousand dollars… when maybe we should just be switching to IVF… I’m at a loss. Sorry for the down post… I just needed to get it all out.