Renewed presence…

I think I cried for nearly 2 solid days – on and off but fairly consistently. You know the all-encompassing – curled on the bathroom floor sobbing, I’m sure most of us have experienced… Then my wife picked me up and literally forced me to leave the house. She made me step outside the sadness and together we formulated a new plan.

Our plan starts this Friday when a new family member will join our home… I can’t wait to post a picture and introduce her to you all. Until Friday, I will leave you with a clue… She’s super small, has spots and stripes and traveled from far to join our family. I can’t wait to officially introduce her!

Friday also commences a new drug in our household: birth control… That’s right we’ve taken the plunge. Money seemed like such a gigantic issue until we both shared our fears… Then our passions fell into place and the rest drifted away. We asked ourselves: If we don’t spend the money will we regret having not fully tried and the answer was emphatically yes.

So we are maxing out credit cards, asking dear grandmothers for help and working with our RE’s financial counselor. This is really happening and soon… We’re starting IVF. We’re moving forward, towards a retrieval that is tentatively scheduled for the week of Thanksgiving. How appropriately fitting wouldn’t you say… 

Yesterday we made a tally of our drug collection and thanks to a donation a while back and my over purchase of Bravelle (20 vials) last month which successfully maxed out of my drug benefits, we have a small collection to start with. We will need more and we will be paying out-of-pocket for everything but hopefully things will go smoothly and we won’t need too many additional drugs. I guess we will know more after our meeting with the IVF head nurse to make our plan.

We are going with the one shot option – it just feels right. We’re not gamblers but this try is all ours. This new world is confusing and I would much appreciate all your continued love and support. Thank you for all the kind and loving comments over the last few days, I’ve read them multiple times and they’ve inspired me… And if all you past IVFiers noticed spikes on your protocol posts… That was me, becoming familiar with the lingo and process.

I’m so very scared but also incredibly excited… Here we go!