A Little Secret

So I’ve been keeping this little secret… I think because saying or typing it out loud made it more of a reality. But I think It’s time to spill… Since the retrieval on Tuesday I’ve been dealing with OHSS hell! I’ve been in complete pain most of the day. Pain that only got worse with each new day… I’ve been up most of the night for the past 3 nights but finally this morning I think I’m on the mend.  

I woke up after just a few hours of sleep and I think I’m finally starting to feel a little better. My stomach isn’t as hard and feels less bloated, I can pee without pain, I have no fever and avert eyes for TMI; I finally had a mini BM. 5 days people without a BM… No good! Yesterday the transfer was becoming a possible casualty due to all my pain and water retention but today everything is looking better.

I think you can all imagine the nervous breakdown that occurred yesterday when canceling our fresh transfer was becoming a strong possibility… especially after learning that of my 19 retrieved eggs, we only had the strong 5 remaining. It wasn’t pretty…  Fear got the best of me and my mind immediately went to that scary place… Where none of our embies would make it to freeze and everything would be completely over. But today things are looking up. I’m still in pain but for real it’s now manageable pain.   

I think initially when the pain started creeping in part of me felt embarrassed. Embarrassed that I was experiencing this much pain… but they explained that I had nearly 20 follicles that just weren’t quite mature along with the 19 retrieved and when all those filled back up with fluid… The pain was inevitable.  

So there’s my honesty post… I’m not as strong as I thought I was. The procedure was manageable but the recovery has been total hell. My wife is amazing for dealing with me the last few days… Minus the first days comment when she found me crumpled on the floor bawling in agony and said “is it just the bloating” but I’ve been a total mess – so I forgive her.

Thanks for all the love and support for our strong 5… I’ll be sure to post an update on them tomorrow.