22 Week Update (Week 1 bedrest)

Thinking of ways to creatively and optimistically sum up this past week is eluding me.

The last seven days have entirely changed my experience of pregnancy and have absolutely made the turning over of a new week feel much more pivotal. Today, I’m beyond grateful to be one week closer to our first big viability goal of 24 weeks. This is huge and we are making our way there.

Yesterday brought another slight scare and an emergency trip to the doctors. This time I was accompanied by a full entourage including my mom and partner. Because after my last routine appointment which I went to alone ended with me in the hospital, no one was taking any chances.

Everything turned out alright after a checkup and a half hour of contraction monitoring. The diagnosis was minor uterine irritability and I left with a script for a tocolytic to relax my uterus, which I will take every 6 hours until I reach full term. I will also start steroid shots next week and was prescribed something to clear up a mighty bad yeast infection that most likely came from the 3 days of IV antibiotics I received following surgery. Surprisingly we all celebrated the yeast infection for its normalcy and praised it for its simple treatment!

We did get a bonus ultrasound where we experienced some of the first major interactions between our girls. We watched with the doctor for about 5 minutes as they exchanged punches and kicks through the membrane. It was amazing how connected they seemed and how amused they were with each other. It was like we were peaking in on a game they’d perfected of you kick me and I’ll hit you… With perfectly placed pauses to add extra suspense.

Recovery is slow and adjusting to bedrest is challenging. My emotions are all over the place and I find the tears frequently catch me off guard. I cry because I’m so glad the babies are still in there, I cry when I’m left alone in the morning, I cry when I think of how hard this is for J, I cry when I feel guilty for needing to get up to pee again and when I realize I left a job I really liked. I cry when I think of how little we have ready for these girls or when I start to realize how different my pregnancy is from how I imagined it being. I cry because every day brings more uncertainty and I cry because I’m more scared than I ever imagined I could be.

But my girls have responded over the last few days with some powerful kicking. It’s almost like they knew I needed a little bit extra reassurance… To feel them in there, reminding me that I’m doing everything right.