Why the silence…

Simply put, I’m overwhelmed… in so many ways. Overwhelmed with love for my thriving girls. Overwhelmed with feelings of responsibility to my growing family. Overwhelmed by holiday family drama. Overwhelmed by how much I attempt to do but never get done.  Overwhelmed by wanting so much for my girls first holiday. Overwhelmed by re-entering the work force and overwhelmed by it almost being 2012.

So that sums it up…  A few of the reasons I haven’t posted.

I few more reasons. I’m so busy and yet I never leave the house. I’m so tired because I haven’t been getting much good sleep. I’m creatively drained and happily filled all at the same time.

I guess this is what twin parenting looks like.

The girls are almost 4½ months now and I am behind in so many ways. But love hasn’t been spared and so I’m ok with it. I love these girls more each day. They are thriving and gaining in weight, smiles and overall glee. They giggle, roll, pinch, pull and lean in for wide open mouth slobbers with such determination. They amaze me and challenge me day in and out.

So what have we been up to: sleep training, nap training, tummy time, rolling, bath time with lots of rubber ducky’s, airplane lifts and one hand balancing. Slobbering and lots more slobbering. Kisses, hand sucking and huge toothless grins. Shrieking and screeching and other fun noises… Food tastings and gum smacking.

These girls are busy!

I owe you all posts on so many things but I fear they are to stay unwritten.

Things I’m most worried about:

My milk production. I’ve been experiencing a dip lately that I’ve now tied to forgetting to eat and drink during the day. So we’re back to nursing like crazy, upping fenugreek and pumping… Oh and eating/drinking!

The affects of a modified CIO sleep method. I’m less worried about this now as its really working! The first few days were hard but it was really just a few days… We went from it taking HOURS to get the girls down at night to a few minuets! It’s amazing! This has been life changing! Twins are hard and sleep is hard and twin sleep is super hard. I wasn’t ashamed to admit we needed to try something but felt a great deal of stigma in my community with doing a CIO method. But nights are going much smoother. Except last night when we tried to unswaddle the girls – epic failure. But as soon as we reswaddled they were out in a flash.

Most naps are going smoothly. Ferber (modified) is working for us and I’m so happy about it. Our girls are soothing themselves in the car better because of these techniques and are overall happier.

Now they aren’t sleeping through the night but that wasn’t our goal. Our goal was to get them to sleep on their own with out HOURS of rocking and comforting. These little ladies are still waking around twice to nurse but I’m ok with that for now – especially with the recent milk production woes.

Another fear – returning to work… I started looking into returning to work over the past few weeks. My first resume sent out resulted in an interview and quickly the realities of what going back to work looks like now with kids came flooding in. I’m petrified but it needs to happen. My old position is not only gone but the whole company is closing – so it’s now the process of seeking out and applying for jobs in my spare time… Which is hard to find.

So there you have it. An update of sorts. Girls 4 month letter is still coming.

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