Resurfacing

I’m back…  Or I’m attempting a comeback. I’ve been gone 6 months. I have excuses but that’s the least interesting thing I have to contribute. However, to move forward I feel I need to explain briefly…

I’m a writer. Or at least I was at one time. For many years I kept elaborate journals. I wrote poetry, love letters and stories.

I went to college and I discovered “practical, purposeful” writing. I learned I could have a stronger more aggressive voice and I loved it. I could argue and “win” with my words and that was powerful. My creative writing vanished.  

Eventually I wanted children and it wasn’t easy. We struggled and I searched for a space to emerge and explore my new life of infertility and heartache. I found my creative voice within this space and I made connections I never imagined.

But things have changed. I had babies. I documented their milestones and their experiences. But nothing felt as genuine or organic as it once had. My posts began to feel forced, artificial and uninspired.   

So I needed a change. I took a break but now I’m back.

I have things to say and I’m looking to find my voice again. I’m still figuring out what this will look like… But I’m beginning to see that it needs to be less about milestones and more about us navigating life. Less about the facts of our life and more about the stories we’re making.  

When I read all your posts (which I never stopped doing) these stories are the things I hold onto.  Stories of young love, of families, of challenging marriages and of trying to get pregnant. I love the joy, the struggles and the mess. It’s real, honest and beautiful.

I lost some of my story telling. I got stuck in the world of statistics with trying to get pregnant, then trying to stay pregnant and then the early stages of having twins. This brought me right into focusing on tracking milestones and I got lost. I began comparing my girls and forgetting I needed to step back and be a little abstract.

So for now that’s my plan. Defining Family – Coming full circle – Or something close to it. Once a week posting about our lives – all of it or none of it.

The simple things, along with the more complex messy things.

If you’re still out there, stay tuned. 

defining family

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